Why???

Well, since everyone else in the free world is blogging, here I go! I am writing this blog about my journey to become a mommy and all of the wonderful and hilarious things my son is up to!

I always knew I wanted to have a family of my own. I wanted a family like the one I grew up in. Because I was in such a hurry to grow up, I made a very naive and stupid decision and got married at the age of 18. I was completely naive to the real world. My marriage was based on lies, deceit, and abuse and I was NOT going to bring a child into that. I also decided that I was NOT going to live that way. I was divorced in 1999...less than a year after I made that terrible mistake. I felt like a failure. But I picked myself and moved on. On February 12, 2000 I met my future husband, Dwayne. Our relationship was not perfect but he soon became a fixture in my life. Two years later....and after a lot of crap!...we were married on October 12, 2002. We built our house and started our life together.

After a while, I started thinking about having a baby. I never knew what a roller coaster ride trying to conceive a child would be. After many conversations with Dwayne, we started to "try"....months passed and NOTHING!!! I went to my doctor and we started infertility testing. I was not ovulating at all...so, we started some drug therapy thinking it would happen...nope! We tried for a year before we got our first positive pregnancy test. I had the most PERFECT pregnancy in the beginning. I wasn't sick, honestly, I felt like a million bucks! We found out at our 20 week ultrasound that we were having a boy. We were ecstatic! We decided to name him Will. I had heard a song called "God's Will" and it just stuck with me. It was God's will that I got pregnant. I stopped with all of the tests and stopped trying to be God and he rewarded me with a child. I have never been so happy in my entire life!!!

At 29 weeks I started to have complications. My co-workers were having a baby shower for me and my mom came. I told her that I just didn't feel right. It wasn't even something that I could put my finger on but something was wrong. I went to the Dr that afternoon. My blood pressure was through the roof! I was put on bed rest...well, after a week, I was admitted to Erlanger in TN and was placed on strict bed rest, steriod shots, blood pressure medications, etc. 2 weeks later, at 32 weeks, Will was born. He was not ready to come into this world and refused to come out for 20 HOURS!!! He finally graced us with his presence on February 14, 2005...Valentine's Day. I tell people it was the day my heart was born. He weighed in at a whopping 4 lbs 9 oz. He was so ugly! LOL...we laugh about it now because he is so cute but he was not born that way! HA...anyway, he was admitted to the NICU because of complications of his prematurity. I was placed in ICU and sedated because my blood pressure was still so high. I was released two days later and Will came home exactly 4 weeks after he was born.

Even though we got off to a rough start, we have had nothing but joy from Will...he can be stubborn (I'll write more about that later) but he is the sweetest child.

Life is always interesting while raising God's Will!